Changes

Changes


As I stare at the tree, gnarled, gnawed and twisted, yet standing so proud,
I think of myself, how my life changed when hit by the disease, ah yes the disease
that dreaded disease, how it changed me.
Memories of bitter thoughts flood my mind, once sharp but now dull aching pain
as I remember, screaming one lonely night, there was so many, since you left,
sleepless nightmare filled nights, pain filled nights, too many, but
back to the memories.
Remembering why me God? as slowly my body began to corrode from the inside out
Spew filled anger started filling me.Once walking proud, I started to drag,
hands so steady now shaking, speech what a laugh, so crisp and clear now just slurring,
why God? what did I do wrong.
My friends, once a full social circle but now not even an arc, not even a wedge
where did they go? why God why?
You my darling wife, 'til death do us part, I cry, bitter twisted tears
acrid on my face burn so deep, as do the scars of your taunts, children we couldn't have
because of the disease, already dead the day you walked away sneering
yet forever I will love you, why God why?
As I lay here staring out my window at that tree, white walls surround me
but I feel only darkness, shrouded in my own cloak of fear, of despair
When suddenly it comes to me, the voice, a powerful voice saying
"believe in me, come now my son and you to will be as almighty as that tree"
Why God why?, why me.